And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
