i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sext me about skeletons
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
