She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
