Me too!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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