he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
