so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
