Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
