and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
