I cannot find my penis.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
