She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
