Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
