I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
