She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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