The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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