Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
