with your own penis?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
