You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
