My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The uberlube is also flammable
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
