Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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