just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize