Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
