Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
