i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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