well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
