he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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