It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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