Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
