ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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