I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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