Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am naked and annoyed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
