I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
