Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
