She is in my trunk
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
