I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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