Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
