Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
