Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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