Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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