I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
