All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
