whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
