Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
