I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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