If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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