i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
