Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
