fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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