Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
