I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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