when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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