She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
