I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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