Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
